Non-Jews are for practice
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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