My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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