He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
