Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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