Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
