barbara walters just said penis...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
