you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
