Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
