is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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