I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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