so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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