She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
