The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
