I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
