Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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