found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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