Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
