dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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