How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
