OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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