i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So many bounce houses so little time
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
