I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
