'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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