Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
