actually, I'm a sock model
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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