I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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