You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Randomize
