bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I touched a dick in church today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
