**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
