she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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