omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
