Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
