Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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