Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
