I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
