handjob tips. give me some.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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