you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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