My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
