Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
