I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
