Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
