Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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