Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
