Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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