I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
