I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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