your thong is hanging out like whoa
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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