i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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