I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
