So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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