His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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