He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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