he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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